Stalemate 

Lord this one is for You

I feel like we’ve reached a fork in the road of our relationship.

One road is the narrow, dirt path designed to be the agonizing path upon which my pride dies a slow and horrible death.

The other is the wide and generous easy way out. Paved with dangers that need not advertise themselves. Subtlety is the name of the game. Mystery is everything. 

I can’t shake off the fact that you want me to participate in my miracle. I’ve got to want to get into the pool of your promises. Unrestricted by the ghosts of memories past and my disobedient and stubborn evil twin- Pride.

Every time you pinch me with reminders. I cringe inside. I have done the unthinkable.

I have allowed the experiences of the past to shape my expectation of the future.

Why do I have so little faith, You ask?

Why do I care so much about the responses of people if a Sovereign God who holds the hearts of kings can turn any situation to work in my favour?

So why do I care so much about falling when His hand is never too short to catch me?

Father, tonight I lay down every fruit of self and clothe myself with love, long-suffering, bowels of mercy and grace. Bathe me in grace untill my skin is a reflection of Your glory. Let your light illuminate and shape my thinking, until my will is conformed to Yours.

 Lord forgive me for being so stubborn. Thank you for giving me a pliable new heart and a new Spirit within. Let a breath from You be wind enough to catch my attention.

In every stalemate there are two options; something has to give or those who wrestle must walk away as losers. Perhaps there’s one more, the stronger one breaks the tie. Jacob’s hip testifies to this day that no one can wrestle with You and win, I dare not carry this on for much longer.

So Lord I give! You win.

Instruct me and show me the right path.

Brand me with Your love.

Your wildest and most reckless daughter,
Olamide.

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